I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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