Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
