So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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