I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
