is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
