I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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