Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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