the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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