That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
