if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
