Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
