How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize