You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
