I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
