You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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