we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
