goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
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Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
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Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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