"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
