what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
