I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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