Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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