Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
