I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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