I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
