508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
