I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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