Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
