the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
