WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
