I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
