I'm jealous of your bromance
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
