How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
