even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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