She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
