No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
