Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
