New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
