he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
