He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
