I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
