It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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