wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
