how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
