Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
