all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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