Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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