is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
