I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
