Having a random hookup so left but love u
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
