I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
