Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
