Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
