i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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