pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
