I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
