Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
