I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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