Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize