You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
