Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
