I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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