Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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