My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
