The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
