we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
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I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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