this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize